 |
|
Ahhhhhh, yes.........GET SOME!!!!
|
Added the week ending 16 Feb. 2003
161. You eat more chicken in one week, then most families eat in a month.
162. You've sent in photo's of yourself posing in speedos,
hoping to get your name in a major Bodybuilding magazine.
163. You wish you didn't have to eat so much.
164. You have officiated bench press competitions at your local gym.
165. If you have ever used diet soda as a diuretic.
166. You have a savings account that will later be used for "Gyno" surgery.
167. You have to use lotion between your thighs after doing legs.
168. You've created your own line of supplements, videos or books
on Bodybuilding, Powerlifting, weight lifting etc.
169. You have to ask the second biggest guy in the gym to spot you .
170. Your chest is so serrated that you could use it as a plankton filter.
171. Your new national holiday is the "Second Tuesday" of each month.
172. You strategically place your hands on objects to secretly flex your muscles
173. You wish leg day didn't hurt so much.
174. You have a dumb bell as a paper weight.
175. You look 15 years older than you really are.
176. You have to wear a T-shirt that says, "No autographs during my workout".
177. You wish that the Bodybuilding magazines would take out the ads for
"Penile Enlargements".
178. You wear suspenders without a shirt while lifting.
179. You flex a rear lat spread to hold elevator doors open.
180. You know that watching your muscles while lifting is not an ego trip.
Added the week ending 23 Feb 2003
181. You fall down as you take your first step after getting off of the leg
press machine.
182. You have 85 sets of "before and after" shots of yourself posing.
183. Your workout clothes are striped bright pink, yellow, black, blue & red.
184. You need two people to tighten your weight belt for dead lifts.
185. You have learned how to shake your quad and then magically snap it
into a mass of shredded muscle.
186. You have to walk through doors sideways.
187. You learned that you have to eat because you have to, not because it
it tastes good.
188. You can flex for more then two poses without passing out.
189. You think of the Hulk every time you hit the "most muscular pose".
190. You get on peoples nerves because you stink up the office with
eggs and tuna.
191. You carry a can opener in your lap top bag.
192. You wonder why fast food restaurants put 108 gram fat sauce on their
grilled chicken sandwiches.
193. You wonder how big you look to other people.
194. You have an exercise named after you.
195. You have a competition named after you.
196. You have an exercise technique named after you.
197. You eat vegetables that you can't stand the taste of.
198. You have a college degree in nutrition and/or exercise.
199. You tend to hang around skinny guys.
200. You now have a tiny head.
Added the week ending 1 March 2003
201. You wish you didn't have to bring a cooler to work to hold your lunch.
202. You take more pills than your grandmother & grandfather put together.
203. You're the only guy lifting on a holiday.
204. You're one of the 10% lifting on the weekend.
205. You eat all the turkey breast deli slices at social work functions.
206. You ask for milk when you go out drinking with the boys.
207. You realize that lunges aren't for sissy's.
208. You now get too many dates .
209. You have a fitness model for a wife or girlfriend.
210. You use a workout log book as you lift.
211. You carry around a gallon jug of water while you lift.
212. If you have ever used posing oil for other then it's labeled use.
213. You've taken a trip to Mexico and it wasn't vacation time.
214. You use the term "Guns" to describe your arm size. ]
215. You wish protein bars didn't cost so much.
216. While in the military, you were sent overseas & made a weight set
using a pipe & five gallon fuel cans.
217. You actually gained seven pounds from using #216.
218. You have driven through political demonstrations while serving in the
Middle East trying to get to the gym.
219. You have worked out in the dark using candles because there was
no electricity.
220. If you have ever taken a picture with a famous bodybuilder and he's
pointing at "YOUR" Biceps.
Added the week ending 9 Mar. 2003
221. You grab a vertical bar and stretch your lat's during each back
exercise break.
222. You eat oatmeal by the pound.
223. If your weight goals are: 180 in 1 year, 220 in 2 years, 250 in 3 years and
275 in 4 years.
224. You see the word low-fat 42 times a day on your food.
225. You know to lose fat, you have to eat, not starve on salads.
226. When you lift at home, you pose every time between sets in your dresser
mirror.
227. You "pump up" before going to your local community pool.
228. While at the pool, you hold a continual flexed ab pose.
229. While at the same pool, you hold a relaxed lat spread as you walk around.
230. You seem to make everything that you push or pull on, an opportunity to
flex "By Mistake".
231. Your drinking actions are secret flexed hammer curl sessions.
232. You don't have to wear pants all of the time because you did your squats.
233. You think that if you take more than 1 day off from lifting, that you will
lose 5 pounds of muscle and that your bench will drop 40 pounds.
234. Your wife/husband or girlfriend/boyfriend said that, "That's Big Enough"
235. Your wife left you after you hit a ripped roaring 275 pounds.
236. Your 4 year old does hammer curls as he brings you your carb drink.
237. Your company news letter has a piece in it about your last placing.
238. You have more competition trophies than family pictures.
239. Your buddy had to pay an extra $200 to get your Tux altered so that
you could be his best man during his wedding.
240. You set aside 2 hours a night to prepare tomorrows meals.
Added the week ending 16 Mar 2003
241. You mix powered milk with your milk.
242. You know that an old rusty 50 pound dumb bell weights just as much as
as a new 50 pound shiny chrome dumb bell.
243. You know that a "French Press" is not a sexual position.
244. You can only wear extra baggy pants.
245. Because you need a dress shirt with an 18" neck, the rest of your shirt
looks like a hot air balloon.
246. You can open cans of tuna with your triceps hook.
247. Your forearms are bigger than normal peoples thighs.
248. You can place individual muscle pictures to famous Bodybuilders.
249. You can match particular vein patterns to famous Bodybuilders.
250. At 18 you were 180, now at 24 you are 270.
251. The neighborhood kids play tic-tac-to on your abs.
252. You wonder who actually buys those electronic muscle builders.
253. With 20 years dedicated to Bodybuilding, you are still confused about
which supplements to take.
254. You have actually tried to dead lift your sisters car when her girlfriends
came over.
255. You actually, to your own surprise, did lift the car in #254.
256. It only takes you 11 minutes to food shop.
257. You buy tuna by the case.
258. You wish the gym was open on Christmas and Thanksgiving.
259. Everybody knows you by name at your local gym.
260. When you go out on the town, you wear skin tight shirts.
Added the week ending 23 Mar 2003
261. You have 17 different Bodybuilding magazine subscriptions.
262. You know that there are no secrets to Bodybuilding.
263. You get bruises on your quads from setting dumbbells on them when
you do heavy dumb bell bench and presses.
264. You could challenge Paul Newman to an egg eating contest.
265. You have a great sex life.
266. Your traps always tickle your ears when you turn your head sideways.
267. You can now flex without cramping.
268. You're the biggest guy in your gym.
269. You have a weight machine named after you.
270. Just ONE of your lats weighs 28 pounds.
271. You love going to the beach, your wife/husband or girlfriend/boyfriend
doesn't.
272. You can split the back out of most shirts.
273. Sweat is always channeled down in between your pecs.
274. You have 3 dresser drawers full of tank tops.
275. You almost have a heart attack watching others peoples lifting techniques.
276. You no longer do ¼ squats.
277. You no longer do "Swinging" heavy bar bell curls.
278. You can convert kilos into pounds without a calculator or chart.
279. You look better than your wife or girlfriend in a bikini.
280. (F) 98% of your butt shows when you put on your workout cloths.
Added the week ending 30 Mar 2003
281. You spend $5000 a year on razors.
282. You sneak your wife or girlfriends bikini wax.
283. Your calves are so big you could climb telephone poles with them.
284. You look at yourself and say, "I am freaking HUGE".
285. You eat, sleep and lift Bodybuilding 24/7.
286. You can actually military press your wife/husband or girlfriend/boyfriend
8 times.
287. During high school, you failed anatomy class, but now you're a muscle
rocket scientist.
288. You're so big that Hollywood wants you in their movies.
289. People talk to your biceps instead of your face.
290. You can't possibly sit with your legs closed.
291. (F) You might as well not wear a bikini top.
292. (F) Talk show hosts ask you if you were once a man.
293. (F) You are more muscular then 95% of the men in your gym.
294. (F) Your jaw bone is thicker than a crocodiles.
295. (F) Your eyebrows are thicker than Charlie Chaplins.
296. (F) You have filled male character roles in gladiator type movies.
297. (F) Guys in your gym only look and stare at you.
298. (F) 99% of all guys are jealous of you muscularity.
299. (F) You got breast (boob) implants.
300. (F) You had medical problems with your breast (boob) implants.
Added the weekending 6 Apr 2003
301. (F) If you put your finger over your head in a picture, you wouldn't
be able to tell if you were male or female.
302. You wish that you had arms like hers.
303. You can do more pull ups than a USMC Drill Instructor.
304. You have or are thinking about a career in Pro Wrestling.
305. You know "Joe" personally.
306. You lift more than 1 time a day.
307. You buy beef by the cow.
308. You pass out from lack of blood to the brain because you just finished
doing legs and all the blood is in your quads.
309. You own a $10,000 home gym.
310. Even guys say that you look "Sick".
311. You think more about Bodybuilding than sex during the day.
312. (F) Your forehead is bigger than Hermun Munsters.
313. You want to start a new career as an exotic dancer.
314. You tare at least 2 muscles a year.
315. Your gym bag has more accessories than the gym its self.
316. (F) You have one of the nicest butts around.
317. (F) You intimidate most men.
| 
